Living With Your "Inner Troll"
Nowadays, there are rightfully many discussions about the debilitating impact of internet trolls on our wellbeing. When we talk about trolls we normally mean the people who enjoy stirring up trouble on the Internet, posting provocative or aggressive comments on websites or social media platforms to get a reaction so they can enjoy watching the argument that erupts as a result of what they’ve said. They thrive on this sort of attention and the mayhem they can create.
But how about the negative messages we give ourselves? They’re sent by something that I humorously call our ‘inner troll’.
What we tend to overlook is how often we act like trolls within ourselves! We often allow our inner chatter to ‘self-hack’ our energy by criticizing, belittling and second-guessing ourselves. This is a very common reason for the wellness self-sabotage and why people do not sustain an improvement from the various therapies they explore.
It’s very important that you don’t allow your "inner troll" to take control, otherwise it will start to undermine your confidence and make you doubt yourself. It might tell you that you can’t do various things, that they’re impossible and you might as well give up now. There are particular situations, especially those that put your self-confidence to the test and make you vulnerable, which can trigger that troll and amplify its voice, so you must learn how to manage those situations.
You need to find ways to disable this negative self-programming, and one of them is to look at how you talk to yourself and describe your life to others. This is really important, because the way you speak dictates the way you live. The energy of words is denser than the energy of thought, and is therefore a big influence in our lives.
Check if your words and phrases do not act as handcuffs. When we say things like ‘I’ll never be able to learn how to do that’ or ‘That’s impossible’, it causes our energy to stagnate. These might sound like harmless phrases, and you might even think that you’re simply stating a fact when you say something like ‘I could no more do that than fly to the moon.’ However, just as negative self-talk can damage your personal energy field, so can these sorts of phrases. That’s because when you dissect the statement ‘I can’t do it’, it’s all about not believing in yourself. You think that you aren’t capable of doing something, or maybe you believe that you simply don’t deserve to be able to do it. It is, of course, can be the case that you really can't do something but do check if this is not your default statement. Another possibility is that you believe it doesn’t matter what you want, because other people’s needs are more important than yours and you need to go to the back of the queue. In other words, these phrases are acting like viruses, causing aura-squashing diseases that I call ‘Limitation’, ‘Restriction’ and ‘Confinement’.
We all have our own ways of tripping ourselves up like this, so it’s a question of discovering what your own verbal Achilles heels are and then becoming more aware of them and more vigilant about avoiding them. For instance, try using positive phrases, such as ‘I intend to …’, ‘I am committed’, ‘I have decided’ and ‘I am determined to try …’ Don’t just say them, though. Say them and really believe in what you’re saying!
I often say to my patients, ‘You can. And if you start, you will.’
Learn to use words as wings, not handcuffs!